Tha'ts right people, soon the back of my head, andperhaps my left kneecap, will grace television screens across Asia. My career is slowly (slowly: moving at a retarded tempo) taking off. Yes, that’s right. I was an extra in a Japanese shampoo commercial. The star of the commercial was the girl in that crouching dragon movie. The whole commercial is probably 50 seconds long. She is probably in 43 of them, yet she only appeared twice during the whole shoot and had a stand-in do all of her difficult blocking. When she finally came out of her trailer, she sported (love the verb sported. love it!) a little red dress. She had very shiny hair. I thought she did an excellent job of getting up from her chair and smiling. She made it look so natural. When she was standing for too long her entourage led her back to her char and covered up her thin frame with a combination of fleece and silk. Most of the models and the others extras thought that this was ridiculous, but I emphasize. Standing is hard, and when I’m cold, there is nothing I want more than to be blanketed with multiple textures. Actually, it was very cold on the set. There was no heat in the building, it was 20 degrees out, and every door was kept wide open. At one point I looked around me and saw a shivering extra, dressed trendily in black, attempting to shed a frozen tear. The concept of the commercial was a mock fashion shoot. Everyone is supposed to pay attention to the crouching girl’s shiny hair in the audience instead of the models in the fashion show. Brilliant. The shoot was about 8 hours long. I spent 4 hours clapping my hands and pretending to be at a fashion show, and the other 4 throwing donuts from the food table at the models. After being reprimanded for getting chocolate glaze on one of the model’s off the rack dresses, I was ordered by the director to stay6-10 feet from "the talent" at all times. On a positive note, I made millions of new friends . . . well two or three, but that’s more than I’ve had since the 7th grade when I flashed the 8th grade boys soccer team for a king size Kit-Kat bar.