thisisnotreallyablogforreal
Saturday, February 21, 2004
A six year old boy told me
that I was ugly and that I had ugly hair when I was babysitting tonight. This is how the conversation went,
Mindy: Ok, it’s time for bed, help me clean up your toys.
Little boy: You’re ugly
Mindy: That’s not very nice
Little boy: You’re ugly, and you have ugly hair.
Mindy: (crying)
Little boy: (running around with scissors and lighting matches)
I just thought I d let those at mindyraf.com know how I spend my nights when I’m not doing stand-up.
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Mindy: Ok, it’s time for bed, help me clean up your toys.
Little boy: You’re ugly
Mindy: That’s not very nice
Little boy: You’re ugly, and you have ugly hair.
Mindy: (crying)
Little boy: (running around with scissors and lighting matches)
I just thought I d let those at mindyraf.com know how I spend my nights when I’m not doing stand-up.
Monday, February 16, 2004
It's Valentine's Day . . .again.
I have to make more time to write in this blog. I know so many people depend on it. So, I want to apologize to all 12 of you. I’m sorry for being so lax. I’m doing a play that opens in April and at the same theatre on Saturday nights I’m doing a one-woman show kind of thing based on my sex columns that I’m still in the midst of writing so things have been kind of busy, but look on the site in a bit for more info, and if you’re in NYC come see them please.
Now I must write about a subject so important to society and so detrimental to the world and to our lives. A topic that rocks our intellectual souls, that allows us to be all that we can be, and that opens up the long lost gates of communication in our violent, sad, dirty world: Valentine’s Day.
Ok, so I’m a dork and I looked up the history of Valentine’s Day on the Internet, and I feel so much better now about this stupid, cockamamie holiday. I mean really, why should I, a single Jewish girl, worry about a holiday that celebrates a catholic saint?Why should single women across the globe get bent out of shape over a holiday whose date was supposedly chosen by the church to convert pagans because it coincided with a popular fertility festival they had in mid- February.
“To begin the festival, members of the Luperci, an order of Roman priests, would gather at the sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, were believed to have been cared for by a she-wolf or lupa. The priests would then sacrifice a goat, for fertility, and a dog, for purification. The boys then sliced the goat's hide into strips, dipped them in the sacrificial blood and took to the streets, gently slapping both women and fields of crops with the goathide strips.”
Yep, sounds romantic to me.So blah, blah, blah throughout the years the fertility turned to romance, and the goathide strips became roses and hallmark made a fortune. The end.Acctually, I’ve never really thought much about Valentine’s Day except that it’s an excuse to buy myself chocolates and eat them gluttonously in public,I just decided that the people of mindyraf.com should know the facts.Also, my brother proposed to his girlfriend on Saturday.(if either of you are reading this, please disregard all statements. I think Valentine’s day is very romantic and pink and wonderful and delicious. And, please try to postpone the wedding until I know for sure I’ll have a date)
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Now I must write about a subject so important to society and so detrimental to the world and to our lives. A topic that rocks our intellectual souls, that allows us to be all that we can be, and that opens up the long lost gates of communication in our violent, sad, dirty world: Valentine’s Day.
Ok, so I’m a dork and I looked up the history of Valentine’s Day on the Internet, and I feel so much better now about this stupid, cockamamie holiday. I mean really, why should I, a single Jewish girl, worry about a holiday that celebrates a catholic saint?Why should single women across the globe get bent out of shape over a holiday whose date was supposedly chosen by the church to convert pagans because it coincided with a popular fertility festival they had in mid- February.
“To begin the festival, members of the Luperci, an order of Roman priests, would gather at the sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, were believed to have been cared for by a she-wolf or lupa. The priests would then sacrifice a goat, for fertility, and a dog, for purification. The boys then sliced the goat's hide into strips, dipped them in the sacrificial blood and took to the streets, gently slapping both women and fields of crops with the goathide strips.”
Yep, sounds romantic to me.So blah, blah, blah throughout the years the fertility turned to romance, and the goathide strips became roses and hallmark made a fortune. The end.Acctually, I’ve never really thought much about Valentine’s Day except that it’s an excuse to buy myself chocolates and eat them gluttonously in public,I just decided that the people of mindyraf.com should know the facts.Also, my brother proposed to his girlfriend on Saturday.(if either of you are reading this, please disregard all statements. I think Valentine’s day is very romantic and pink and wonderful and delicious. And, please try to postpone the wedding until I know for sure I’ll have a date)
