Monday, March 28, 2005
So I live above a bar.
I detest it. I feel a deep rancor towards John Mayer and his opinions ( or those of the lyricist , I’m not sure if he writes his own lyrics) on fathers, daughters, and how gender roles effect our abilities to be in healthy relationships. Maybe the song is really poignant, perhaps it’s autobiographical, and perhaps I’m misjudging it’s brilliance. But I've heard it over and again, and I now know all the lyrics, and right now, I hate them.
I know a girl/She puts the color inside of my world/But she's just like a maze
Where all of the walls all continually change
OK, so women are fucked up.
And I've done all I can
To stand on her steps with my heart in my hands
Now I'm starting to see
Maybe it's got nothing to do with me
Cause of their parents.
Father’s be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too.
So fathers, you should be good to your daughters because daughters will love people the way you didn’t love them or their mothers. Why? Because girls will become lovers who turn into mothers?
That’s real nice message. One day honey you’re gonna become someone’s “lover” and then, if you’re a good little girl, you’ll get to someone’s “mother”
I’m not knocking motherhood, I’m all for it. But, for some reason, a phrase about girls becoming “lovers that turn into mothers” irks me. Maybe it’s because I’ve heard it over 13 times tonight.
Then there’s this:
Boys, you can break
You'll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without the warmth from
A womans good, good heart
On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of her world
Boys being strong and tough and needing the warmth of the a woman’s “good, good heart” Please! I know so many guys who do not “soldier on,” and who are so messed up when it comes to relationships because of their "fathers." And then the song refers to men as the “god and the weight” of a woman’s world.
There’s something about hearing these lyrics over and over again that makes me really just want to . . .
cry into my duvet cover and hope that the man I have won’t leave me and my warm, complicated heart.