Thursday, January 19, 2006
This is what I got
I LOVE some of the questions I’ve received via e-mail though. Especially the ones that are trying to be mean or offensive and are actually just comical and poorly written. So, keep em’ coming.
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Here’s a yummy treat I overheard on the Lower East Side yesterday:
“No, I’m not calling her tonight. Fuck that, she’s on the rag.”
And this is the conversation I heard while I waited in line for a tall skim vanilla latte at Starbucks:
(I know talking about Starbuck’s terminology and the confusion it ensues is hack, but if you picture a long line of angry New Yorkers and one entertained ex-Midwesterner, it’s deliciously entertaining)
Old Lady: I want one small half coffee half steamed milk and—
Barista: (shouts to the girl making the drinks) One tall misto.
Old Lady: No, no not tall, I said SMALL
Barista: I know mam, small is tall
Old Lady: What?
Barista: Small IS tall.
Old Lady: What? No, I want the smallest size. That one (she points to a lady at a nearby table).
Barista: Yes, mam. That’s a tall.
Old Lady: Fine. A TALL half coffee half steamed milk, and one tall-er decaf latte.
Barista: You want a Grande decaf latte?
Old Lady: Do I want a what? No. No Grande’s too big. (shouts across
the room)Miriam!! You want a Grande?!
Miriam: (shouts back from her table) No, a Grande’s too big! I said get me a medium.
Old Lady: So no Grande, I want a MEDIUM decaf latte.
Barista: (shouts to girl making the drinks) One Grande decaf latte.
Old Lady: No! No! I said MEDIUM! Grande’s too big. Can I get someone who speaks English?!