thisisnotreallyablogforreal

I’m heading out of the country for a week on Sunday so no Internet. I’m going to try and post the Dear Mindy column by the end of the week, but wow, it’s already Thursday so this is not looking good.

I LOVE some of the questions I’ve received via e-mail though. Especially the ones that are trying to be mean or offensive and are actually just comical and poorly written. So, keep em’ coming.
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Here’s a yummy treat I overheard on the Lower East Side yesterday:

“No, I’m not calling her tonight. Fuck that, she’s on the rag.”

And this is the conversation I heard while I waited in line for a tall skim vanilla latte at Starbucks:

(I know talking about Starbuck’s terminology and the confusion it ensues is hack, but if you picture a long line of angry New Yorkers and one entertained ex-Midwesterner, it’s deliciously entertaining)

Old Lady: I want one small half coffee half steamed milk and—
Barista: (shouts to the girl making the drinks) One tall misto.
Old Lady: No, no not tall, I said SMALL
Barista: I know mam, small is tall
Old Lady: What?
Barista: Small IS tall.
Old Lady: What? No, I want the smallest size. That one (she points to a lady at a nearby table).
Barista: Yes, mam. That’s a tall.
Old Lady: Fine. A TALL half coffee half steamed milk, and one tall-er decaf latte.
Barista: You want a Grande decaf latte?
Old Lady: Do I want a what? No. No Grande’s too big. (shouts across
the room)Miriam!! You want a Grande?!
Miriam: (shouts back from her table) No, a Grande’s too big! I said get me a medium.
Old Lady: So no Grande, I want a MEDIUM decaf latte.
Barista: (shouts to girl making the drinks) One Grande decaf latte.
Old Lady: No! No! I said MEDIUM! Grande’s too big. Can I get someone who speaks English?!